Well I had my interview! I think it went pretty well, I got to talk to the director of pharmacy and the nurse manager over the clinic where I applied. So it was really 2 interviews over the course of the 1.5 hours I was there. I got a good vibe from the 2 interviews so I was happy when I left, I really liked what I heard and saw about the job......I do hope I get a call back.

I'm crossing my fingers........and sending out a Thank-you note for their time and consideration, ow ya :-) :-)

My heart hurts, my chest feels heavy and I don't know what to do. All but 20 mins ago I felt perfectly fine and now I feel so sad. I wish I could shake this but how do you shake something like love, I don't want to but when it hurts this much over so little I want it gone. I wish I could explain or even feel something I understand but I don't, these feeling change from one min to another. One moment I feel so good I could take on the world and 5 mins later something clicks and I feel as low as mud. I hate this, I hate this, I hate this I have no idea how to say how much I hate this. It sucks and I want to say that its not worth it to feel like this but I can't say that cuse at one time it felt so good. Ya it felt good, then someone screws up and then the other person screws up on a bunch of small stuff and then it just blows up and you can't take it anymore and you have no idea why but you just can't otherwise you'll forever be something you don't want to be and then you feel weak and you want that piece of you to die that hurts so its gone forever. That piece of me didn't die yet, its just sitting there in great pain. It's too strong to die but its alive enough to cause a great amount of pain.
Did I mention anything about how much I hate this! All of this and how I feel has caused me to change a few things in my life and re-evaluate how and why I live my life the way I do. (part of the reason I started this blog so I could vent on the good and bad parts of my life)
Is it worth it? I say yes but only to a point, then you just have to say stop when it becomes to much to handle and mean it, I've said it. (Now I just have to work on showing how much I mean it)

STOP!!!!!!!

Just finishing up my list of questions for my interview tomorrow morning, I didn't want to forget anything and kick myself after I left thinking man I should of asked that. I'm getting nervous but I know it will be ok, I mean hey its just me and a guy talking (OMG he is the director too, I've never been interviews by a big shot either that's helping make me a bit nervous) and I should feel good he is coming to me to do the interview I mean do they really do that often usually you have to go to them.

I've got butterfly's but I think I'm prepared, wish me luck..........

I have a job interview!!!! I can't believe it, only 4 days after I turned in my resume and I have an interview set up. I'm so excited to go talk to them!

I feeeeeeel like a million bucks!!!!

I had this dream yesterday, I'm not sure if I was day dreaming as I do sometimes before I wake up or if it was fully asleep but I remember it perfectly. I was trying to call from my cell phone and I could hardly talk, I saw I had been beaten up and was trying to get help for myself. Well I ended up somehow calling Jose and I told him to call my parents to get help cuse they knew where I was if he gave them this certain guys name (probably comes from when I would go out with different people in the past that I didn't know well I would give them info on where I was just in case anything ever happened) and he freaked out and called my folks, then I flash to being in a hospital bed looking at myself all hooked up to machines and tubes coming out of me and then I woke up. Kinda freaky hu and on top of it kinda freaky I remember it this well, I told my mom about it and she got extremely worried now I have to call her when I get home from work so she knows I'm ok.

Maybe not such a cool thing to tell someone who cares about you that you dreamed something that bad happened to you.........

"They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an
hour to appreciate them, a day to love them, but then an
entire life to forget them!"

I'm not sure who wrote this but it's a wonderful statement. This sums up how it feels to love someone, its true that you can never forget them. You may try but its like a tattoo on your heart........

How can one person acquire so much paper! I have no idea how I get so much and sometimes no idea where it even comes from, I think it spawns when no one is looking.
I was cleaning up all my mail today ( I try to keep it organized but its kinda a messy system) and I could not believe what I found. I found old bill stubs, mortgage payment slips, credit card slips, 3 & 5 month old magazines, computer printouts , and even a few Christmas cards. Sometimes I look at a lot of these things and wonder why I don't just throw it out if I know I don't need it anymore but I never do, I get nervous just thinking of throwing some things away worried I may need it someday. Yes I know I am weird but I can't be the only one out there that dose this.

I think my mail needs birth control............

Today as of right now, I am trying to start new. I want to make big changes in my life, it needs a change desperately. I pledge to myself to start trying new things atleast one no matter how insignificant it may seem at the time its something and that's better then nothing, right?