Free as a bird

that's how I felt today, as I stood on top a hillside (what a wonderful feeling). I was out taking pictures while I was riding my bike and I found this most perfect spot on top of a hill to sit and reflect. It's perfect so I may start going there often, everyone must have a place to reflect. It reminded me of a place I would play when I was younger near my grandma and grandpa's house. That place is gone now a house was built where it was, so its nice to find a place just like it again.

I can go there and pretend I am a kid all over again, SCORE!

To whom it may concern,

As of the 28th of April I am resigning my position as night technician. I am putting my 2 weeks notice in and will be leaving May 12, 2004. I have enjoyed my employment here and would like to stay on as a PRN employee.


Thank-You

I got the job!!!!!!!
Ow my gosh, I got the job!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WoooHooooo!!!!!!!!!!

I'm so excited and a little scared but aw heak what a great way to start my weekend :-)
Ow yes i'll be haveing alot more of those in a few weeks :-)
Going to put my notice in on Tuesday or Wednesday :-)

Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy!!!!!!!

I..............

I am: way too emotional
I think: way too much
I know: Saying "sorry" doesn't fix everything, but wish it did
I want: happiness
I have: issues
I wish:I could turn back the hands of time
I hate: hurting people
I miss: High School
I fear: screwing up my life
I hear: buzzing
I wonder: will any of this matter in the end?
I regret: hurting Jose
I love: my parents
I ache: everyday
I care: more then you will ever know
I always: sing in the car
I am not: as messed up as people make me out to be
I dance: very little
I cry: too much
I do not always: know how to be honest with my feelings
I write: better than I talk
I win: only at UNO
I lose: most games I play
I confuse: the most simple of things
I listen: a lot, but don't always HEAR it. Know what I mean?
I can usually be found: sleeping
I need: a lot of love
I am happy about: maybe getting a new job
I should: learn more about how to handle people............


Its all about me here now isn't it........HeeHeeHee

"The very worst part of you is, Me........."

Is this true of me? Well maybe sometimes.
We all have this evil part of us, that part of you that can get down well nasty and mean with someone or something else. Some of us never or hardly ever show it, then there are some who hide it from the outside world, then there are more who just show everyone the worst part of there being.
I feel I have seen this side, this evil side, of a good many people I have come to know over the years, but have they seen mine? Do I hide mine well or dose it not come out a lot, if you ask a good amount of people I know they would say they probably have hardly ever seen it. Unluckily I know of only 2 or 3 people who have seen me in all my rage, most of them have pulled away from me a little or have all together left the picture of my life. I'm saddened by this a little. But I feel better thinking that in the end the people who will really matter will be the ones I'll have with me all my life.

So will I have you all my life?

Guess what!!!!!!!

I didn't even realize it but I have lost like 14-15 lbs! I don't know how I didn't notice, all I saw was a few pairs of my jeans were getting really loose. I've got such a odd body, I've lost 45 lbs before and noticed but it wasn't significant just my clothing got loose again I never went down in dress sizes. I'm gonna keep my walks up and the little stuff I have been doing. I never thought it would make such a difference.

WoooHoooo..........

Well I got a call back on the job..........

Now they want me to come in for 2 more interviews. 2 more!!!!!
I couldn't believe it, what else can they have to talk to me about?
The message was stating they want me to interview with 2 doctors in the clinic where I am applying at. I don't really get why but I'll go ask and answer the same questions for the 4-5th time.
Just perplexes me, I'm ok with it if this is what it takes to get the job, just wonder why is all especially when they have all my info. Guess I'll find out when I go to the interviews.

Please wish me luck yet again, I am still needing your support :-)

I had the nicest evening, it was so relaxing.
I went for a walk in the downtown area of the town I live in. It was a beautiful spring evening and so warm,I had to take advantage of it. I had a nice little dinner and went window shopping for the most part because a lot of the shops were closed for the day. I did end up getting 2 cute little statues for some decor but mostly I just enjoyed the scenery of the evening. I haven't had a evening like this in a long time, I totally enjoyed it.

Uncomplicated and relaxing.......Not used to that but I'll take it! :-)

I need a hug...........
Come give me a hug..................

What revolution are You?
Made by altern_active

It's Question and Answer time agine :-)

1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, find line 4. Write down what it says:
1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, find line 4. Write down what it says:
They passed the carpets and curtains, pots and pans, rakes and brooms of there monster, and looked at them with shame. From: The Witches Garden

2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What do you touch first? A picture of my mom from her graduation that looks eerily exactly like me.

3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?
Will and Grace on the WB

4. WITHOUT LOOKING, guess what the time is.
8:00pm

5. Now look at the clock, what is the actual time?
8:08pm

6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
My dryer spinning on the other side of the house.

7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
1 hour ago, I was in downtown golden walking around doing some window shopping.

8. Before you came to this website, what did you look at?
my mail, always the first thing I look at online.

9. What are you wearing? White T-shirt, jeans and tennis shoes.

10. Did you dream last night?
yup I did but not exactly sure about what.

11. When did you last laugh? At work last night I think.......

12. What is on the walls of the room you are in?
A cork board left to me, a Turkish wall painting infront of me, and on the right side 2 pictures of horses.

13. Seen anything weird lately?
Nope not that I can recall.

14. Last movie you saw?
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

15. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy first?
a new house for myself or maybe a car....Not sure :-)

16. Tell me something about you that I don't know.
I would like to be a photographer.

17. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?
I would have my grandma back in Colorado again, she moved away........

18. Do you like to dance?
Yes actually :-)

19. George Bush: is he a power-crazy nutcase or someone who is finally doing something that has needed to be done for years?
A power-crazy nutcase, but that's just my opinion..........

20. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?
Rhiannon or Gennese (not sure on spelling of those)

21. [Same question for a boy]
not sure, hm...........


22. Would you ever consider living abroad?
Nope I love it here at home, the good old USA.

IS THIS REALLY AND TRULY MY LIFE?

A big piece of my life has changed today and I'm going to have to deal with it. I've avoided dealing with it for awhile but now its time and it will be ok, I'll just keep telling myself that and yes in the end it will truly be ok no matter what I say now because things happen and we all make it through even the hardest of times.
What will I do you ask, I really don't know yet other then I need to be strong and keep my faith in myself and my choices.

YES THIS TRULY IS MY LIFE AND I INTEND ON ENJOYING EVERY PIECE OF IT FROM NOW ON AS MUCH AS I CAN............................

I had my 3rd interview today........

I think it went well but I'm unsure. It was short and sweet, the guy I interviewed with was very nice and super interested he said. We talked for like 20 mins and then he had me fill out an application cuse I never have had a chance to do one sense I was just using my resume. But he seemed positive and I have no idea why I would fill out an application if they didn't want me, its not like they needed more info all I did was copy my resume to the application, nothing different.

So now I will just wait and see what happened, 85% sure they will call with good news........

My life is rated NC-17.
What is your life rated?

I have seen evil and looked it in the eye.........

Not kidding! There is a lady I work with that is not the nicest person, maybe its a bit much for me to call her evil but she sure isn't one of my favorite people and anyone I know that has met her can say the same.
Well today she showed her true colors by something she did. We had a mouse running around this morning at work and most people scattered but she started swatting it with a broom, then (of all awful things) squished it with her foot. She stomped on the poor little mouse. I was shocked when I heard that, I was like who would do that, most people would think to trap it in something not squish its brains all over the floor. I just can't get over that someone could really do that, I mean ya get rid of it but for gosh sakes don't squish it.

Poor Poor Poor little bitty mouse...........The evil woman killed him.

~~~~~~ 83 Questions ~~~~~~

W O U L D Y O U R A T H E R

1) Pierce your nose or tongue?
tongue

2) Be serious or be funny?
funny I suppose, but you need a little serious

3) Drink whole or skim milk?
whole taste so much better!

4) Simple or complicated?
Depends.

D O Y O U P R E F E R

5) Flowers or angels?
flowers.

6) Grey or gray?
what?

7) color or black-and-white photos?
black and white, I love old pictures!

8) Lust or love?
Love above all things

10) M&Ms or Skittles?
M&M's definitely, yummy!

11) Rap or rock?
rock

12) Staying up late or waking up early?
As of now I love waking up early but I rarely ever can cuse my schedule with work.

13) TV or radio?
Depends.

14) Water or soda?
water

15) Eating apples or oranges?
oranges, apples make my mouth all dry.

A N S W E R T R U T H F U L L Y

16) Do you have a crush?
ya, I have for about 2 years.

17) Who is it?
someone very special


D O Y O U P R E F E R

18) Being hot or cold?
I prefer being warm

19) Tall members of the opposite sex, or short?
A bit taller than me.

20) Sun or moon?
Moon.

21) Emeralds or rubies?
don't care

22) Left or right?
Right.

23) Having 10 acquaintances or 1 best friend?
One best friend.

24) Sun or rain?
Sun. I love the sun!

25) Vanilla ice cream or chocolate ice cream?
Chocolate please!!

26) Boys or girls?
Both.

27) Green beans or carrots?
Carrots.

28) Low fat or fat free?
Low fat please!!

M I S C E L L A N E O U S

29) What is your biggest fear in the world?
not being loved

30) Kids or no kids?
Kids. 2 of them

31) Cat or dog?
kitties!

32) Half empty or half full?
half full

33) Mustard or ketchup?
neither, yuck I hate both!

34) Hard cover books or soft cover books?
Hard cover.

35) Newspaper or magazine?
magazine

36) Sandals or sneakers?
Depends.

37) Wonder or amazement?
Wonder.

38) Red car or white car?
my car is blue thought.......

39) Happy and poor or sad and rich?
Happy and poor.........

40) Singing or dancing?
Singing, in the car!

41) Hugging or kissing?
gotta have both!!!

42) Corduroy or plain?
Plain.

44) Purple or green?
depends

A B O U T Y O U

46) What time is it?
12:54am

47) Pets?
1 cat who is 14 years old, my little baby.

48) Height?
5'1, yes I know its super short don't rub it in :-)

49) Eye color?
Brown

50) Hair color?
Dark Brown

51) Piercing(s) or tattoo(s)?
My ears are pierced and I have 1 tattoo of a sun.

W H A T D O Y O U W A N T

52) Where do you want to live?
I like where I am but as long as I stay in Colorado I think that's my only preference.

53) How many kids do you want?
2 kids I hope to have.

54) What kind of job do you want?
Not sure yet I like what I do but lets just say it will definitely be in the medical field.

55) Do you want to get married?
Yes I do very much hope so

W H I C H I S B E T T E R

56) 2 doors or 4 (on a car)?
4 doors.

57) Coffee or ice cream?
Ice Cream!!!!

58) Shampoo or conditioner?
Both

59) Bridges or tunnels?
Both!

60) One pillow or two?
1 fluffy and 1 thin pillow

F A V O R I T E S

69) Color of socks?
usually white

70) Toothpaste?
Crest

71) Food?
Mexican or Italian

72) Toothbrush?
Not that picky.

74) Drink?
Tea

75) Cartoon Character(s)?
Pinky and the Brain


R A N D O M Q U E S T I O N S

76) When was your last hospital check?
Don't know, I work in one thought dose that count?

77) Where do you see yourself in 10 years?
34 years old.....Hopefully in a comfortable place in my life. Have kids and be married :-) and have a beautiful house.

78) Have you ever been convicted of a crime?
Nope, I'm a good girl.

79) What do you do most often when you are bored?
Surf the net or Sleep

80) Name the person that you are friends with that lives the farthest away from you?
Jacque and Mark - Minnesota

81) Are you open minded?
I am Very open minded.

82) Can you be in love with two people at the same time?
Yes you can love more then one person at a time but its not recommended.

83) Love of your life now?
I have one and I hope it is the same one I'll have for the rest of my life...........

There goes me wasting 40 minutes on 83 questions at work of all places. Hehehehehe

I'm 24 for only a moment..................

That sounds so young and then it sounds so old, 24. I just don't see myself where I am, I can still identify better with the 16 year old and even better still with that 7 year old that I used to be. I know in my heart I'm never gonna grow up I will always be that little girl and I'm ok with that, I like being that girl. Its more fun that way, less worries and you can have fun for a moment and not care about anything except to smile.

Update on the job search : I have my 3rd interview next Tuesday!!!

I called the guy I was supposed to set the interview up with this morning and we had a nice chat. He said to me pretty much right away "So how will it feel not to work nights anymore?", I was like oh my gosh it would be wonderful. I couldn't believe he said that, that's like (oh I'm too excited to think about it) I might already have the job snagged!!!! But I need to think rationally and not get too heart set on it just yet in case you know it doesn't work out for some reason. I'm still excited thought!!!

Your a Gentleman and a scholar

This is what I was told today because I was being so helpful.
Why thank-you that's very nice but you know what, I am a woman.

I went to see a movie tonight, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. It was a strange movie, but it moved me. I don't know how I can put into words how it made me feel because there were times I was like "what the hell is this and what is going on cuse I don't get it" and other times I was like" I so totally connect with how you feel, I feel that way sometimes when I think too much at night while laying in bed with noone to talk to". It made me think a whole lot after I got out of seeing the movie. I thought about what I'm missing in my life and what I have and how I am not the only one screwed up just like that cuse obviously if someone wrote about it there is someone out there who feels just like that, the feeling of a black hole in your chest and you don't know how to fix it or even if you can. There were times it made my heart feel so good and times when it ached. My heart ached for what I saw cuse I can so relate to the feeling of confusion, happiness, anger, and sympathy.
My heart ached tonight for what I have and for what I will have. I feel so peaceful and relaxed right now because I know I will be able to share those wonderful feeling bad and good with someone someday again, maybe not now but someday and it will be perfect I know it will...........

I don't want to hear about or see a bottle of "crown royal", I got sooooooooooooooooooooo sick off that shit Friday night. I totally can't remember half the night. I was there with Jose and he can't remember either, I think between him and I we finished off half a liter of it not to mention other shit that was at the party we were at. Oh my god I felt so horrible for like a 1.5 days after, I finally felt normal as of Sunday night.

Now I know why I do not drink, it sucks!!!!!!

I got called back about my job interview!!!!!!!
The Director of pharmacy wants me to interview at a clinic that is 5 minutes from my house, he is really interested in me. I was so thrilled cuse he is giving me this chance before they even post the job is vacant, he said he thought I might be interested cuse it is so close to my home, I was like well heck ya I'm interested!!!!